Keeping it real and kicking it old school.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

RANDOM INVENTION OF THE DAY

THE VENDING MACHINE MEAT PIE

Here is something I came up with today for all my Homies, who get stuck late at work and do not want slip up on their Atkins diet.

1) Get your fat ass up and waddle over to the break room.
2) Buy has many egg and sausage or egg and steak sandwiches you can afford.
3) Unwrap them all, then in a quick and decisive fashion remove all the buns and throw them away. Sometimes its best to do this with your eyes shut, focus in your mind on an image of how you looked before you developed a raging case of ITA (that is the Information Technology Ass if you didn’t know).
4) Resist the urge to fish those yummy crispy flaky buns out of the trash. I know it’s hard. Be strong young Jedi
5) Pile all of that lovely meat into one container and nuke it.
6) Shove it down your gaping pie hole and marvel at out how it’s possible that this pile of lard and animal fat can make you skinny again.
7) Go back to your cubicle and wait for the impending gas onslaught. Note: It’s always a good idea to blame flatuses on any consultants in your immediate area. No one ever cares about consultants and besides they will be gone soon anyhow. (sorry Norah)